The past two months have been a blur, a mix of emotions, a roller coaster, a blessing, and a learning experience. Most people say that almost every woman gets the "baby blues" at some point right after your child is born. Its due to many things, mainly your hormones going crazy once again just like they did in the beginning of the pregnancy. I'm not positive if I have gotten the baby blues, but Ill be honest in that I haven't been happy go lucky the entire time. Ive had some rough patches. Blame it on the hormones, lack of sleep, a major change in my old schedule, or whatever, but Ive had some low points.
Now, don't get my wrong, I am SO IN LOVE with Jane. Just like everyone says, there is nothing that can compare to the love that you will feel for your own baby. Its crazy. I also have fallen more in love with Mr. Hunt if that's even possible. Its probably from seeing him interact and love Jane just as much as I do. We are certainly in love.
Looking back at the first month, the only time I ever was down in the dumps was when I fed her. Breastfeeding certainly wasn't as great as some people told me it is. So, I wouldn't really say I had the baby blues, I just had a dislike for breastfeeding.
The rest of my time with Jane is amazing. She already seems so much bigger and she is learning and growing every single day, its incredible. Most of the time I just stare at her and think about what she is going to be like when she gets older. I also try to figure out who she looks like. As much as I cant wait until she is showing her cute little personality more, I also tell myself that she will only be this little once and that I don't need to rush it.
She stays awake more and more each day. I don't know what I'm going to do once she stays awake from one feeding to another because when she is awake, I cant help myself and I have to stare and her and talk to her. I cant get anything done unless she is sleeping. Obviously that will have to change, but I feel so bad for her to just sit there and stare into space all by herself.
The nighttime is alot better than I expected. Once she passed her birth weight the pediatrician told us that she could sleep as long as she wanted and that she would wake up when she was hungry. This was great news. Depending on when she eats her last meal in the evening, she will sleep about 6 hours straight which is amazing. This means that I only wake up once a night. I still go to bed pretty late around 11 or 12, then I get up at 4am (that's usually when she wakes up), and then she is up for the day at 9am. I hope this is a habit that will stay and eventually she will sleep all night.
So, with all that said, we are doing pretty good. I feel like everyday is a better day. Not that the first days were bad by any means, but I think Jane is getting better at being out in the world and I'm getting better at being a mommy. I'm sure Ill look back at these first few months and laugh at the things I did and thought, but the best way to learn is to do and I'm just learning as I go.
But to answer what the title says, the truth about having a newborn is that its alot different than I thought. There is alot that goes into everything you do. Your life isn't the same with just a little baby there with you, almost everything is different. At least the way you think about everything is. There are good things and there are tough things, but in reality, you have a sweet little baby who depends on you for everything and that makes me feel great.
I'm interested to see how my perspective changes in the next few months as she grows to be a little lady.
Love,
Jennifer
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