Without going into the whole long story about it all, I will just say a few things.
- The main thing is that breastfeeding is HARD! I will go into the breastfeeding journey with my second child knowing this and hopefully I will have more success.
- I HATE seeing things that tell me that breast is best! Yes, I understand this, but it doesn't make me feel any better about my decision
- What does make me feel better about my decision is that fact that I am 100% happier now. I was literally stuck to the pump all day and I couldn't do anything ever. I was stressed out and really sad most of the time.
And a few things that I learned
- All woman and situations are different. If I would have known that it was going to take me up to an hour to pump each time, I may have just decided to stick with breastfeeding since it was taking that long anyway to feed her.
- Either breastfeed or don't. The whole pumping exclusively thing is NOT for me and is only for very patient women. Its very easy to breastfeed while out or just bring formula with you, but to lug a pump around everywhere is NOT my idea of a good time
- Baby Jane doesn't care either way. She hasn't noticed a difference at all from the breast milk or the formula. She was a trooper with the transition and I know she loves me the same with whatever my decision was/is
- I cant compare myself to other moms. I do this a lot. I compare myself and I compare Jane. This only makes me more anxious, stressed, and unhappy. Once I let everything go and just go with the flow, and do what I think is best in ever situation, I'm a totally different person.
- Breastfeeding and formula feeding only lasts for about a year of their life. Maybe a few months more. But out of their whole life they have to live, this is a small time. I'm going to run into a TON more important decisions to make for her and I need to let this one go.
Ive made the decision. Ive done it. I'm happy. That's all that matters. Jane had breast milk for 3 months. She was 3 months and 2 days old when she had her last breast milk bottle. It was kind of sad for me, but I held her a little closer and let it go.
Now I'm going to finish this post before I start to think about this too much.
Love
Jennifer
2 comments:
I stumbled across your blog and love reading it because your baby is about the same age as mine! I had a hard time with breastfeeding and then my child ended up being allergic to both dairy and soy, so it didn't work out for us very long at all. I too felt super guilty about it, but as long as your baby is healthy and happy that is really all that matters! I have a friend that never gave her baby any breastmilk at all and he is one and a half now and has only been sick ONCE!!! Her doctor said "oh you must have breastfed," but nope her baby was all formula! Just thought that story might be encouraging to you (it was for me). Baby Jane is so adorable! :)
Thanks so much for the encouragement! I love to meet new people that read my blog, and that PLUS a nice reminder that Im still doing good as a Mom just made my day. THANKS!
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