38 Week Doctor Appointment

So Ive been down to one appointment per week until Jackson gets here since week 36. Ive been looking forward to my 38 week appointment the most though because that is when they said they would start to check me for dilation.

Let me back up a bit. My 38 week appointment with Jane was the one when they told me to go STRAIGHT over to the hospital to get induced. They also told me I was 3cm dilated at that point too. 

So, I knew that I wouldn't be sent over to the hospital this time around because there were no signs of pre-eclampsia this time. I was having signs with Jane for about 2 weeks prior. BUT, I was excited to be checked for dilation because my doctor told me that normally if you were dilated already at 38 weeks with your first, you usually start dilating around the same time with subsequent pregnancies. So, I was fully expecting to be at least a centimeter or two dilated when I went in. 

You are probably wondering why I was hoping to be dilated. Well, contrary to other people's opinions, Im hoping to be induced. Im terrified to go into labor on my own....for a few reasons, but that can be saved for another post. I understand that I could go into labor at anytime really now so I may go into labor on my own anyway, but my doctor has been telling me that if Im dilated at 39 weeks, then we could talk about being induced. 

So in my mind, I was thinking, "oh, no biggie! I was 3 cm at 38 weeks, I will definitely be dilated by 39 weeks!" 

Sure enough, I went in to my 38 week appointment, everything went smoothly, then he checked me. ZERO centimeters, cervix still thick, and Jackson is still very high up. NOT the news I wanted. I was really bummed out all day to be honest. He said again that he wouldn't induce me until I was dilated some, and to be honest, I wouldn't want to go in and be induced if I was at this stage because clearly my body isn't ready and I don't want to have my chances of a c-section be higher than needed. 

Some of you may be reading this with your jaw on the floor....for a few reasons. 

• She should be thankful for a healthy pregnancy
• She should just wait until her body is ready and go into labor on her own
• She should just be glad that Jackson is healthy
• It will eventually happen!

I understand all of this. I really do. BUT I was just bummed out because it was something I didn't expect at all. I also know that just because I was zero centimeters, doesn't meant that I wont go into labor today. I also know that just because someone is 3 cm at 38 weeks, doesn't mean they will go into labor sooner than someone who was zero centimeters at 38 weeks. Really, everybody is different. I know that my Mom was late with me and that kind of thing runs in the family. 

Anyway. I guess I just wanted to document this appointment since I really was bummed out. I know that I only have two more weeks until my due date and he will be here very SOON! It just seems like eternity when Im super uncomfortable. I also hate the waiting game and I PLAN EVERYTHING, so the unknown is slowly killing me I think. 

Thanks for listening y'all. This was all over the place, but thats honestly how I feel right now. Im going to go and take a LONG WALK!

Love,

large pregnant lady